fartgallery:

sometimes I think I could play professional sports but then I remember that one time I pulled a muscle in my neck trying to put my pillowcase back on my pillow

(via thefunniestpost)

krispykay:

for everyone that reblogs this, i will leave a pickup line, one liner, knock knock joke, in your ask. so serious right now. don’t think i’m playing.

(via 52tolose)

nintendofunclub:

c0caino:

Take your age and add 5 to it. That is your age in 5 years.

(via lampsarepeopletoo)

frosla55:

things i would rather take care of than a baby:

• plants
• cats
• dogs
• a great white shark
• a walker from the walking dead

(via chipmunkcheeeks)

justintheallan:

soycrates:

endreal:

avatar-addiction:

nicotineenema:

Shout out to girls who don’t mind being called dude and man casually

shout out to boys who don’t mind being called guuurrl 

shout out to humans who don’t mind being called dawg

shout out to dogs who will let you call them anything so long as you say it in  a happy, friendly tone.

Shout out to Guinea Pigs which are neither pigs nor from Guinea.  

(via peoplemagazine)

grffindors:

do you ever get so annoyed at everything that you start to get pissed off at even little things like a spoon clinking against a bowl or sounds of people talking  

(Source: grffindors.com, via youcamealong)

vinoxe:

all i do is look at text posts and wonder how i didn’t think of them first

(via zackisontumblr)